Bad Kisses

I don't know about you, but I can't stand a bad kiss... yuck!

Picture this your having a fabulous date and it's coming to an end and you have been waiting for the kiss moment all evening... and finally it happens and "BAM" he sucks! Such a waste.

Let's discuss bad kisses...

The Sloppy Kiss: Need I say more. This is the famous slobbery guy. Ewww... my skin crawls thinking about it. Wet and gross to the point where you need to reapply your make up because for sure, he has removed it!

The Pecker: This kiss is nothing but lip action, peck, peck, peck... boring. What are you scared of... it's called a tongue, use it! I promise not to keep it. A kiss needs to be sensual and sexy not dry and boring like toast.

The Mmmm Kiss: Geez, this one really kills me, it's when the kisser makes the "mmmmm" sound while he kisses you like you're a delicious piece of fried chicken!!! Very strange, kinda funny but definitely distracting. You can take it as a compliment to a certain extent, as if he were saying that you are delicious, but after awhile it's like "ok ok I get it... I'm delicious... now get rid of the soundtrack!"

The Bitter: ughhhhh... why, why, why, are you biting a woman's lips until it actually hurts?!?!? Get rid of him asap!!!

The Looker: This fool likes to stare at you with his eyes wide open while you are kissing! Very creepy! Why is he looking at you in complete surprise or maybe excitement as you kiss.. ahhhh... scary. Definitely run from that guy, although by now he has memorized your face!!!

The perfect kiss is the one you were not expecting, it caught you by surprise, it was intense and sensual, and your mind goes blank because you are so into his kiss. If you can't think of a single bad thing to complain about on a kiss, it's because it was the perfect kiss. So enjoy it and go back for a few more.

Muah*